It's the day after Christmas. Now we are suppose to be in a terrible recession, but it doesn't seem to stop even low income folk like myself (now that I am jobless) to stop buying. I think it's all media hype! However, I have watched the news and have seen many wonderful individuals and foundations give a smile to those less fortunate, especially the children who expects Santa to come to their home.

Christmas Eve I took my daughter to church because it is so important for her to know that we celebrate the birth of Christ Jesus and it is not just about gifts and stuff...lots of stuff! I want her to know that she may not get everything she wants for Christmas' even though she usually does. Between me, her dad and her grandmother it's total over kill with the gifts. Next year I MUST take her to a soup kitchen or shelter to help those less fortunate. I want my daughter to grow up and understand that giving is better than receiving. If we fail to teach our children this very fact they will grow up expecting the world to give them most things. Life is hard and eventually she will have to work and understand what life is all about.

My little girl is very sweet spirited and loves God. But she is also a teenager (can I have, can I have, can I buy, can I buy??) - typical of kids. She is very giving for the most part and she loves to share. A gift!

I usually have a difficult time during this season. We didn't get much (if anything) for Christmas and it seemed like our parents just didn't care for us. It was sad for us to see other kids riding their new bikes and skates and we had to sit on our porch and just watch in awe and sadness. We were never taught what Christmas is really about. It would have helped me to see this Holiday for which it is intended - the celebration of life to the messiah.

I've struggled with medical issues that seem to hit me every December since 2008 up until this year 2010. It seems as if I am destined for medical issues every December. Well, could it be the amount of stress and sadness that I suffer every year this time? Something to ponder. Something clicked in this stressed out head of mine. I decided that I would change my Decembers' from now on.

First and foremost I give honor and glory to Christ Jesus for dying an ugly and painful death for my sins. Something he didn't have to do but he did. He never promised us a life without pain suffering trials and tribulations. He did say suffering brings perseverance and perseverance hope. Although I know I will have times of sadness and even grief and loss, I will NEVER claim any time of year to be sad and broken for the rest of my life. So Satan get behind me.

Today I don't have a job, very little income from unemployment, I don't have my own place, and I don't have medical insurance. I am just one of many in this same situation. However, I know a God who is forever faithful and will supply ALL of my needs. He will NEVER give me anything or situation that I can't handle or get out of. He will use my trials for His glory. I am blessed to have at least some income, and a roof over my head and a vehicle that is now paid for.

I want to be a Marriage Family Therapist which means more graduate school and more student loans. I think this is what I want but is this what the Lord wants from me? I will look for a job and apply for school. I will ask the Lord on a daily basis to reveal His Will for my life. I would also like to know what my spiritual gifts are.

Well we are just about into 2011 and through God's grace and a lot of work I can change my path and allow the Lord to lead me in the way everlasting. I want to show my daughter what it means to be an "over comer". I want to show her what life can be like when you glorify the Lord and give him credit for all things.

I see strength, health and prosperity 2011 and beyond. This is what I am claiming. Goodbye 2010 and hello to a New Year. I love you Lord with all of my heart and soul. Thank you for giving me life, peace and happiness even when life is painful for me.

To Jan, Tracy, Libby, Alan, my family, and my little girl. Thank you for not giving up on me and for seeing my potentials when I am not able to see. Thank you my friends in recovery.

To my Daddy: I miss you with all my heart but I have to believe that you are in a better place. I love you.

Much love,

Gina
12/26/2010

First day of high school.

I'm trying to understand why kids don't want their parent to walk them to class or be seen with a parent by other students. I mean...What's really goin' on? So I took my child to her first day of high school. There are more than 2500 kids or so. She had an idea where her classes were but didn't really know. So I ask if she wanted me to walk her to her first class. (You would have thought I ask her to dance with me in the middle of the school). She gave me a look of utter disgust. I just pawned it off as "a kid thing". I don't remember going crazy being seen with my parents, unless of course they tried to drop me off with a houserobe or rollers..hey it could happen and "has" happened. Kids!!

Do you want to know : "what's really goin' on?"

Now some might want to know how I got this blog title. Well let me tell you "what's really goin' on". So my friend Josephine (not her real name) told me to look at this particular web-site where she set up this blog. I thought to my self "this just might be a way to let people know what I am thinking and what's on my mind". I frequently ask myself the question "what's really goin on" when the pitfalls of life may have no explanation.

My conclusion: life may not always give you what you want in your timing but if you stay on top of your spiritual self-assessment and are true to yourself, I believe you will soon find out "what's really goin' on". You don't need to have the answers to this question immediately. Some things are better left "unknown".

The Master plan: The master plan you can achieve if you would stop and just believe that God knows what's in your heart...believe in Him and you will start to know the plan He has for you so will you start to know Him too?